Day #8 - “Leadership Wednesday,” Sept. 2

2. September 2009 by Edie.

“To err is human, but to blame the horse is even more human.”  ~Pat Parelli

Today we started in the lodge with John talking about leadership and sharing comments about yesterday. Several people commented on Kathy’s demo. with her two horses, esp. her LBI, and we discussed the fine line between expecting responsibility and accepting try.  Kathy said that, if her horse offered her something better or different, she wouldn’t necessarily correct in favor of preserving the relationship (don’t “no, no, no!”).  She said “Don’t step over dollars to pick up pennies.”  That one will stick with me, especially when I get direct-line in my thinking and have a particular end (task) in mind.

John talked about the on-line demo. in the Big Top yesterday and commented that there are not many places in “horseville” where 50 or so people and their horses can have a good learning experience without chaos such as happened there.

We then once again talked a little bit about Horsenality and were asked to consider ourSELVES - where do WE belong on the chart? I had given thought to this in the past and felt that I belonged either on the vertical line between LBE and RBE, or a little to the left (LBE).  We were asked to REALLY think about our INNATE personality - which caused me to realize that I really probably belong more in the RBE quadrant - my 25 years of law enforcement have moved me further left, but when I’m stressed, I still tend to default to the RBE quadrant.  This also fit with my Myers-Briggs personality profile (ESFJ) - my “F” (Feeling) part, anyway.

We were asked to go to different stations, depending upon our innate horsenality, so I chose to go to the RBE group.  PP Avery Gauthier (also an RBE) led us in a very interesting session there.  She started by making us move our feet!  We had to to another “blind horse” exercise with a partner and did a LOT of trotting!  THEN we were ready to THINK!  Then Avery began with some comments about RBE’s:

- we need to move our feet (or mouths!) to think

- our leaders must match our energy, or we get frustrated

- our biggest challenge is to STAY FOCUSED

- we need to use a “talking stick” to let others participate in our discussions

- we need to hold ourselves accountable for our own results

- Pat says “I’ll bet you can change your impatience into endurance.”

Avery went on to say that RBE’s are often labeled as “crazy” or “nutcases” because of our bouncing all over the place.  One of our strongest suits is DREAMING - but we need to have a focus to achieve our dream.  We need to break our dream down (isolate, separate, re-combine) in order to get there.

She talked about the four personality types and what comes easiest/hardest for each:

Right-Brain Extrovert - dream (easiest), focus (hardest)

Right-Brain Introvert - nurture (easiest), trust (hardest)

Left-Brain Introvert - theory (easiest), response (hardest)

Left-Brain Extrovert - doing - LBI’s are EXTREME do-ers (easiest), obedience (hardest)

We also talked about our insecurities - our “I’m not OK - you need to tell me I’m OK” need for support and re-assurance (honestly, this is inherent in me!)  We DO like to show off and have attention, but it’s usually just to have someone else confirm that we’re OK.  How interesting . . .

Avery talked about how we are more effective if we PLAN the night before for our day, because we’re ready to think after GOING all day (we need to move our feet to think!)  I guess this is true of me, as well.  One thing that didn’t fit, though, was that Avery said RBE’s fall asleep and wake up easily - definitely NOT me - I hate mornings and my mind used to race a lot at night, but not so much any more.

All of the personality types need to work on moving closer to the center, just as we expect our horses to!

Avery pointed out that as a group sitting on the mercantile porch, we all sat close together, open, and intent - we want inspiration!  While LBI’s (our polar opposite - yes, I married one - twice!) would typically sit back expressionless with their arms crossed, waiting for facts!  I thought about how funny it was that my husband and my horse are the same personality/horsenality - and my polar opposite innately!

It is easy for us (RBE) to focus on the negative, so we were encouraged to write down five things that went well EVERY DAY!  We talked about the “4 Agreements:”

1) always do your best

2) don’t take it personally (innately hardest for me)

3) never make assumptions

4) be impeccable with your words

Also, to put principles before goals and to interrupt our negative patterns!

This entire exercise was very good for me - I surmised that, while I AM innately RBE, I am almost equally LBE with my horse, clients, etc. 25 years of law enforcement and supervisory experience has definitely moved me more to the left, so I really am pretty close to that vertical line, although there is NOTHING introverted about me (surprise!).

After our groups, we went back to the lodge and discussed some of our “aha” moments.  Kathy talked about how you will often move to one of the quadrants next to your main quadrant, but rarely will you go diagonally across (such as, me going LBI) unless you are under great stress or have had some kind of life-experience (trauma) that causes this.  With our horses, this can take the form of past (bad) training (Libby is a good example, she can switch from RBE to LBI).

So, in light of what we learned about ourselves today, we were asked: how will this change how I work with my horse? (HotShot - LBI).

- I will slow down

- no judgment (criticism)

- develop a plan and FOCUS!

- let my horse “get a word in edgewise”

- give my horse more time to lick and chew (chill!)

I will let my hubby tell me - but I’ll bet he’d feel better if I did all of the above for HIM, too!

After this, we talked about flying lead changes and changes of direction

- you must have respect, impulsion, and flexion in order to get exuberance in our horse (boy, did I find THAT out last week!).

We watched a short video clip of a lion/zebra kill and talked about prey/predator things:

Predator:

- eyes in front looking forward

- hand that close quickly (claws)

- what we eat

- how we smell

- direct-line thinking

- forget, NOT forgive

Prey:

- eyes on side of head (almost 360 vision)

- flight

- hyper-awareness

- herd

- live in the moment, moment to moment

- forgive, NOT forget

We were asked to think about forgiveness and to “think about what you’re chiseling in stone as opposed to what you are writing in the sand.”

Horses are here to teach people not to be:

- chauvanistic

- autocratic

- anthropomorphic

- direct-line thinkers

If we don’t use the laws of nature while working with our horses, we become artificial (artificial aids) - many trainers don’t understand the mental/emotional needs of horses - they only think of the physical. We talked about perversions/vices (cribbing, stall-weaving, tongue lopping, rubbing) and how if we saw a PERSON doing these things, we would say “that person needs help” but how we are almost immuned to them in the world of horses.  We need to ask WHY are they doing these things?

In the lion/zebra video, we saw how the lions were more MENTALLY focused and the zebras were more PHYSICALLY focused.

Then we watched another short video of two stallions competing for dominance in a wild herd - they work it out and one of them prevails, but then they go about their business immediately afterward (immediate forgiveness).  It was also a great illustration of how it is natural for horses to push INTO pressure, not give to it.

Last, we watched a video of Pat riding Magic with Casper at liberty - similar to his 2007 demo. in Madison - it was SO inspiring!

After this, we went up to the Big Top, where John led a demo. on the “stick to me” game with Kathy, Emily Thompson, and Mastery program Lindsey (LNU).  They played “find your owner.” I have done this with the mounted police group and PP John Harms in the past - fun!

After lunch, we had a choice of three focus stations: change of direction, on-line preparation for liberty, or stick to me at liberty.  Alicia and I played hookey (sp?) and went to Out West Saddlery after lunch - I got the belt I wanted and had them measure me for some custom half-chaps when I get rich!  When we got back, I took HotShot up to the honeycomb on the grassy hill for stick-to-me liberty play.  Cynthia (L-4 student) was there with her big Percheron/Thoroughbred cross mare and we went into a 50′ round pen together and did circle game with both of them - opposite directions at the same time and everything!  It was really cool - my first time doing that - I can’t wait to get home and try it with two of my own horses!  I didn’t want to push HotShot too much today, as his legs were pretty swelled up yet this morning, so we played a bit and I let him eat grass for a while. We worked on some little things: porcupine, pedestal (we’ve almost got all four feet on now!) etc.  Then, only Jeanie and her beautiful black Arab mare and us were left.  As we walked to the log-jump out of the big honeycomb (an alternative to the two gates) we both looked at each other and said “maybe we should . . .”  Obviously we were synchronized in our thinking (a MIRACLE for humans), because our two horses did a PERFECTLY synchronized jump out of the honeycomb together - an awesome end to an awesome day!  We went back to the pens and were telling everyone - it was SO COOL!

Then, I cold-hosed Hotty’s legs, scraped off the “crud,” put on more Derma-Plast and Swat, cleaned pens, got water, fed grain, whew!  I missed the dinner/cook-out bell by a long shot tonight, but it was worth it just to stand in the pen with HotShot and scratch his butt while he  ate his grain (aren’t we horse-people weird?!).

So, off to pick up Chinese and veg. at the condo - I have GOT to get to bed earlier tonight!  It’s getting dark now, so I’ll go say goodnight to my equine friends and head up that LONG HILL to the truck!

Edie

Posted in 2009 ISC | No Comments »